


Please, Mr Postman!

by Chaneladdict



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Conversations, Background Peggy/Steve/Angie, F/M, Fancy fake dicks, Hot Neighbour Trope, M/M, Modern Era, Multi, OT3, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Pre-OT3, Secret Crush, Tumblr Prompt, world War Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 19:36:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5714650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaneladdict/pseuds/Chaneladdict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr Prompt: "The postal worker delivered your (Steve and Peggy's) package to my (Bucky's) place accidentally and I was expecting something so I totally didn’t look before I opened it and… wow that is um… quite an interesting thing you bought and I’m here to return it."</p><p>Bucky is the awkward ex-vet, quiet and polite, living next door to that hot married couple who is pretty sure share a girlfriend. He lifts the wrong package at the mailbox and poly- highjinx ensues!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please, Mr Postman!

**Author's Note:**

> Via the lovely @mycelebrityfantasy :
> 
> Prompt:  
> The postal worker delivered your (Steve and Peggy's) package to my (Bucky's) place accidentally and I was expecting something so I totally didn’t look before I opened it and… wow that is um… quite an interesting thing you bought and I’m here to return it (Mature rating would be a plus!)

He was rushing, his jog finished, his celebratory cookie half eaten, the other half sticking out of his mouth. He popped one of his headphones off as he entered his building going straight for his mail box. The encouraging beats of Bastille in one ear, the silence of the hallway in the other. He quickly unlocked his box and grabbed his mail, noticing a square package on top he grabbed that too and took the stairs two at a time to his fourth floor apartment.  Kicking off his shoes and leaving his iPod on the kitchen table along with the stack of bills he was going to ignore until his runner's high wore off, and he took a shower - but the package - finally - had arrived. He’d been waiting two weeks for the damn thing and it was about time. Stark industries really needed to work on their customer service.  Sticking his leftover pizza in the microwave he ripped into the box, a ton of bubble wrap and some rather fancy crepe paper later, he arrived at what was decidedly NOT his new hard drives. It was a … well… a really _fancy_ fake dick.

 

_Oh._

He felt himself blush when really it was just him, alone in his apartment. Hell it wasn’t even really his, not really. It was his grandmother’s, technically  for another month until the transfer went through, though he was subletting from her.  After he got discharged and  she decided she’d had enough of New York at ninety and moved into a ‘paradise for our senior citizens’ with her best friend for literal ever, Ruth. They were currently raising hell in Florida, according to his mother.

He dropped the very fancy, heavy, and made from glass fake dick back into the box only to discover there were more um, things, in there too. He found clamps with little stars on them, and a harness lined in silk, and oh that was interesting… and he was still blushing when he found the company’s ‘complementary’ tutti frutti flavoured lube  - self heating apparently.

Good to know.  

He shook his head before dropping it all back into the box and finally looking at the name like he should have in the first place.

“Shit.”

“Mrs M. Rogers.”

It was the couple next door.

 _Shit_.

Bucky didn’t know them, not in the traditional sense anyway. He’d said hell in passing, seen them coming and going that sort of thing, but beyond that he had barely held a conversation with either of them. That of course didn’t mean he didn’t ‘know’ them. The walls weren’t that thick - rather - they weren’t thick enough particularly at 3am when all he wanted to was sleep and all they wanted to do was fuck. Continuously, for hours.

He really questioned their stamina, or if she - or both of ‘em were faking it at one point. He shares a bedroom wall with what he assumes is their living room, there has been many a time where he thanked Christ it wasn’t bedroom to bedroom.

It wasn’t that Bucky was a prude, far from it really. It’s just ever since he’d gotten discharged, with everything that had happened a romantic life seemed like the last thing on his list. It remained the last thing on the list for almost a year. He peaked at the sex toys again, and figured he might need to reconsider treating himself to something sometime, if the bunnies next door needed help sometimes, there was no shame in helping himself.

As it stood though, he was too freaked out at having accidentally touched their … well … their dick, so he put everything back where he’d found it and taped the box back up.

He should just leave it at their door, he knows he should. They’re probably not even home anyway, he figures.

They’re a very nice looking couple he noticed that much. The guy - Steve  - he was super friendly, all easy smiles and kind eyes, laughs too loud and watches a lot of Friends re-runs, he can tell through the wall. He’s bumped into him a few times, sometimes they’ll run the same route, or see each other after in hallway. He’s built, taller than Bucky by a hair, dirty blonde and slightly bearded, but with hair that never seems to fall out of his desired side part. He looks, Bucky’s thought, like something out of a black and white movie. And the wife, Peggy, she’s stunning in the opposite way to her husband.  Small smiles, knowing watchful looks, like she knows all your secrets just by looking at you. Dark hair and eyes, always looks perfectly put together, she has some government job he’d overheard Mrs Anders talk about her once, that’s all he knew.  He knew they were hot, and apparently into fake dicks, and to be fair, he was also pretty sure one or both of them were cheating. There was a woman that came by and orgasmed loudly at least twice a week, she was blonde and bubbly, what Bucky’s mom would call a hippy, he was pretty sure he’d seen her face somewhere before, just couldn’t place it. So, the hot sexual couple next door would be needing their very fancy glass dick and sex accessories, which meant, he had to deliver it.

Fucking fuck.

So he showers, messes with his hair a little so it’s less sticky up fluffy mess that it usually is after he washes it. He even puts on a pair of jeans without holes, and a shirt that he’d bought in the last year. He was cleaning up to mortify himself, basically. He could talk to his hot neighbor's, sure, tell them that he accidentally opened their sex package, less so.

He knocked and waited, the thirty second rule worked for this kind of thing too, he thought and was just about to leg it, when smiling Steve answered the door.

“Hey!”

“Hi…” He offered the smiling man, the smiling man who was half in and half out of his t-shirt. His stupidly defined abs staring him in the face for half a second. Jesus.

“Um, this is yours.” Bucky held out the box just as Peggy appeared in the doorway, curious look on her face.

“Hello James.”

“Uh, hi, hi Peggy. This is yours.” he says again, and Steve takes the box this time.

“Thanks?” he says, before looking to Peggy, confused.

Oh right, explain.

“I lifted the wrong package in the hallway earlier, it’s not mine like I thought so -” why was he sweating, why was he tongue tied?

“James would you like to come in? We’ve just made pasta, and as always we make enough to feed the whole building, because someone doesn’t measure.” she says, pointed, to her husband who merely rolls his eyes.

“I like pasta okay, I got a big appetite.”

For more than food, Bucky thought but said nothing.

“Oh no, I just wanted to -”

“Come in, seriously, it was so nice of you to bring this back,” Peggy insisted and somehow he found he was in their hallway, and then their kitchen.

A phone was ringing and Peggy excused herself, and Steve showed him to a seat while he tried not to be obvious about looking around a little.

Their place was swank, like he expected but also not? It was less … moody than he expected - open plan and very modern and sleek but with comfortable couches and big soft looking cushions, their hard wood floors are the reason he hears every click of her heels in the morning, he thought, but it was all very - them. Right down to the art works and the art in progress he could see from an easel in the corner. So maybe that’s what Steve does, he’s an artist. That was slightly unexpected, given how he looks.

Before he knew what was happening, between small talk about the super bowl and the weather, he was faced with a plate of pasta and chicken that smelled like heaven, and by the time PEggy sat back down he was realising neither of them had mentioned the package.

“I um. I accidentally opened it.”

Steve nodded, eating.

“That’s fine, we trust you. What is it anyway? Peggy’s always shopping online, and -”

“Steve -” Peggy attempted to interject rolling her eyes, a small blush creeping up her cheeks. At that, Bucky took a forkful of the amazing pasta thing.

Whatever look Peggy gave to Steve it must have clued him in, because his eyes went wide.

“Oh. Right. Um… right. That’s …”

“None of my business.” Bucky attempted, after an abrupt swallow of food. “I um, I thought it was mine, I wasn’t paying attention, sorry.”

Steve was blushing, right to his ears as he took a large gulp of his wine. Nodding. Peggy was smiling, still a little pink but less than her husband. Why had he agreed to this amazing food?

“It um, Peggy likes to you know what, never mind.”

“I’m sure James knows more of what I like than maybe he’d like.” Peggy commented and it made Bucky’s eyes go wide. She was bold, that’s for sure. She reminded him of his ex girlfriend but still very much up in his business friend, Nat in that way.

“I’m sure you hear things, as careful as one tries to be, sometimes it’s just … unavoidable.”

“Peg needs to not inhale a bottle of wine while cooking,” Steve added raising a brow at her. She merely laughed.

“I’m just saying this is an old building, and some things can’t be helped.”

Eh, Bucky figured if she could be bold and honest he could too.

“Sometimes,” he commented reaching for his wine glass, “It’s not as bad as the other screaming couple on the other side, they aren’t enjoying themselves half as much as you guys though.”

At that Peggy snorted, her elegant airs momentarily shattered.

“Oh I knew he’d be fun, he’s too cute to be dull. I told you -” she says, slapping her blushing husband on the arm softly. “Handsome and funny, lucky us.”

“Peggy -” Steve attempted again, and honestly he was kind of enjoying the sight of Steve trying to rein her in. She was sauced. He was surprised he hadn’t noticed when he came in, but he was a little distracted by her hot-ass husband’s abs.

“So what about you, James?”

“Bucky, please.”

“Bucky?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, it’s … only my mother calls me James anymore.”

“Bucky-” Peggy sounded out before smiling. “Are you single?”

“Peg come on give the guy a break.” Steve attempted to no luck though,  she was leaning in now, hand under her chin, interested.

“ I’m sure you noticed I don’t keep a lot of company.” he sassed, gulping at his wine.

“Well, you are awful quiet in there.”

“Or maybe he just has sex at a _normal_ decibel, Peggy.” Steve added with a fond smile. “I’m sorry, she’s a prying drunk!”

“Am not…” she frowned before it broke back into a smile again, “Ok, so I kind of am.” her English accent giving her more sophistication than his American one, why did they all sound so together, even sauced like she was? “Oh and don’t even, _Steven_. There have been so many times I’ve basically had to smother him with my hand or a pillow or Ang -”

“Peggy! God!”

She laughed then.

“You’re never going to speak to us again, are you?” Peggy added, pouring more wine.

Bucky was thoroughly amused. He really took her for a bit of a stuck up broad, but she wasn’t at all.  “Steve your crush is never going to speak to us again,” she stage whispered and Steve went red. He felt himself blush truth be told.

“Never say never,” he concluded with a smile, finishing off his pasta, and putting his fork down.

“That’s nice to hear, we’d like to get to know you, Bucky. We’ve lived here since before you moved in, and honestly we hardly know anything about you. And you know quite a bit about us, intimate details even, you might say.”

He laughed out loud then, “You’re a trip, Peggy.”

“Darling, you have no idea. You never answered my question by the way, don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Bucky looked to Steve who was looking at him, or rather looking at his lips - and when he caught him, Steve looked away.

“Do you have a girlfriend … boyfriend?”

“I’m single.” He gave in.

She cocked a brow smiling, knowing he was evading gender just to mess with her question.

                    *******************

By the time he had apologised again for accidental snooping, and finished off another glass of wine he left feeling a little lighter than when he’d come in. Maybe it was the really, really, good wine, or maybe it was the company - the let loose Mrs Rogers was not anything he had expected. Steve too was quieter than he imagined, though he did spend most of his time mortified at how blunt his wife was in conversation. It was funny, they were funny.

The next day went by quickly for him, his package did finally arrive - he triple checked the names just in case - and he spent the afternoon hooking up his equipment for word. Remotely working for Stark Industries had it’s perks, the ex-vets programme which allowed them to work from home when needed was one of them. He took full advantage of that fact. He was in charge of code. He wrote it, broke it, fixed it, whatever they needed. And they needed a lot.

He was contemplating a late and unappealing lunch of cheese sandwiches when a soft knock came to the door.

It was Peggy. Looking rather remorse and in workout gear.

“Hey.” he said brightly.

“Hi, listen I just wanted to say sorry for last night I …. well I don’t drink a lot usually, but work had fucked me over and well, long story short I was a little bit shit faced before you arrived and when you came in I just sort of … lost the run of myself.” She grimaced. “I don’t usually behave like that with strangers, so please forgive me?” she added, holding up a tupperware container.

“It’s beef curry, again, Steve thinks he’s feeding the five thousand and I’m going to work out so …”

“Come on in, please.” he said taking the food and trying not to salivate.  She walked in and wasn’t as subtle about having a look as he had attempted to be.

“Nice place, you could use a woman’s touch though.”

“Just the apartment?” he asked, cocking a brow and it made her laugh.

“Oh God, the things I said, honestly I am so sorry…”

“It’s fine, hey, I rifled through your new sex toys, we had to imagine the conversation wasn’t going to be conservative?”

She smiled.

“Right, God. Still though, you’re a good sport. Had I behaved that way with anyone else...”

“Right, because a hot woman flirting with a guy is something they’re gonna turn away?” He shook his head. “As long as Steve is okay with our um, humour? I guess?”

She waved her hand then shaking her head.

“Of all people he’s more than fine, he … well. He’s fine.”

“Because of his massive crush on me, right?” he attempted to joke, while sticking the food in the microwave.

“Shit, did I say that out loud too? God. No wonder he was laughing at me this morning. Again. Sorry. Mortified.”

“Wait, for real?” He had to ask, he’d have been a fool not to. Because hello?

She shrugged.

“I mean, I think by now you realise we don’t exactly have the most um, to borrow your word - Conservative of marriages?”

“Because one of you has a girlfriend?” He asked, maybe he shouldn’t have but after her almost outburst last night it was clear as day that they ...swung. If that was even still the term for it.

“Angie. Yes,” She nodded.  “You’re observant.”

“Once a sniper always a sniper, Ma’am.”

“How long did you serve?”

“In and out since I was eighteen, out the last time because -” he waved his decidedly very non-human hand in the air. She’d noticed before, everyone notices. But the sad look on her face was still evident. “It’s not so bad, I save a fortune on oven mitts.”

That, thankfully, made her laugh again.

“And it’s how I got my job at Stark In. so, you know,  literal silver linings and all that.”

“Still, I’m sorry that happened to you.”

There was a beat and then two. Before he sighed and spoke.

“Well, now I just went and doomed the room didn’t I. Sorry,” force of habit he wanted to say, it was why he was single he wanted to say, does it scare you? He wanted to say. But didn’t.

Her phone beeped and it thankfully broke the ice.

“I have to go I’m sorry, but listen thanks for being so great and um, enjoy the food?”

He smiled, seeing her out.

“No thank you, you really didn’t need to.” But he was gonna devour that food, it beat cheese sandwiches any day. Pleasantries were exchanged until he closed the door. Things just kept getting weirder in his life, and he guessed that now included the swinging couple next door.

                        **************

He really doesn’t know when it happens, not really. When it goes from polite, comical flirtations that they are so NOT serious about to … well … being pressed up against his neighbour’s door by Steve with his lips on his lips doing all the things lips on lips do. It was somewhere between the odd exchange of food for services, beginning with accidental dildo mailman, right up to ‘oh our computer is broken do you … ?’ and the back and forth of food they keep ‘making too much of’ teamed with lingering looks from the hot-ass husband and wife he barely knew, and more than a few from himself he was sure, until it’s one afternoon weeks later, and he knows that Angie is real fond of spankings, that Steve still watches too many Friends reruns, and that they have, he imagines but the fancy dick to very good use since they got it. But then there he is, getting felt up, and in turn really, really enjoying getting to feel in return, the hot married neighbour guy with the soft beard and the nice eyes and the oh, so, capable hands. And yeah his life is a mess, but sometimes messes are great.

“But this … is weird you’re married.”

“You know how it is, you of all people… know exactly how it is.”

“Angie -”

“Is Peggy’s girl. I mean, technically.” Steve rolled his eyes at himself, before kissing Bucky again, “but we … you know.”

“Share?”

“Mmmhmm,” and ok he was sucking his earlobe. _His earlobe!_ Before he melted into the door he had to speak.

“Steve wait, wait, it’s … I mean… I…” at that, he stopped and man, he really was sweet. He looked concerned, as if he’d upset Bucky, when really, it was exactly the opposite of that.

“Oh.  I thought …,” Steve spoke, breathless, they both were truth be told. Rumpled, panting and oh so very turned on, what was Bucky’s point again? “I thought you wanted to -”

“I do!” he answered, raking his fingers through his hair, “I just don’t know what that means, I mean one minute we’re talking and then we’re kissing and it’s...,” Steve smiled, before looking at Bucky’s lips, and biting his own, and Jesus wept, he was sure he had a point.

“Good because I do too,” he added before leaning in and kissing him again, and Bucky being as weak as he was, leaned into it for a minute before breaking away. “And Peggy?”

Steve smiled.

“She likes you, maybe as much as I do… She says I have a type though, sarcastic tough brunettes, and she’s not wrong.” God now he was blushing, a second ago he was palming his dick and NOW he was blushing?

“So what is this? Your wife gets a girlfriend, and what does that make me?”

Steve stepped back then, looking serious. His plaid shirt wrinkled where Bucky had been clinging to it.

“You … can be whatever you want, or don’t want. I’m not … we have no expectations here, I like you a lot, I think you know that,” he cocked a brow, because yeah Steve was as subtle as his wife with looks, and they ran happy chills through Bucky’s spine just thinking about them, and all that from only looks! “But if you don’t want … me or Peg, or this, or anything, that’s so okay too.  I mean it’ll suck but, it’s fine.” He got it, he did, he was giving him the out while attempting to reassure him that he was wanted. God, it had been so long since he’d allowed anyone to want him. Or allowed himself to want anyone back.

“This is insane, Steve.” He gave in, pulling Steve back into an embrace, kissing him like he was his lifeline, before they some how pushed and pulled at each other enough to end up on their massively plush velvet sofa. Steve slowly, devilishly grinding against him, he’d lost his shirt along the way, and Bucky had lost his jacket, and their shoes where MIA, and Steve’s hands were snaking up his torso, and his lips were on his neck, and it was all just so much, so, so much.

“You’re so beautiful you know?” Steve added, “I feel like you know it but I should tell you anyway,” he added before going for his belt. And holy shit, this was happening.

“Not so bad yourself, but you, your wife and your girlfriend already know that.”

Steve’s laughing and their hands are still on each other when they hear the door. Pausing as if caught in the act, because isn’t this still weird?

Peggy merely stands in the doorway, momentarily stunned, files and purse in hand.

“Well, finally!” She declares.  Neither Steve nor Bucky moves until she walks into the living room, kicks off her shoes and takes them in, hands on hips.

“I can leave you to it you know? I don’t mind if this is just Steve’s thing.” And she meant it too, he saw it in her face. But the thing was, he was attracted to her too, she as smart and sexy, what person in their right mind could ignore that,  so he tried his luck, and held out his hand.

“Let’s…” and she came to their level, her husband stroking her arm as she leaned in, and Bucky leaned up, and they kissed. It was nothing like kissing Steve of course, in either gender or in it’s urgency. But it was electric, he felt it and from her grip on his shirt as he deepened the kiss, she felt it too.

“Let’s see where this goes, okay?” Bucky requested, and they agreed. She with a nod, Steve with a smile. Bucky felt as if he were floating on a cloud.

Yes, let’s see.

 

 

AN: Thoughts more than encouraged! [Feel free to reblog on Tumblr if you're on there (hi!)](http://chaneladdict.tumblr.com/post/137231250947)


End file.
